November 18, 2017
It’s a Saturday night around 8:30 as I sit here and type this blog post. Something that has been on my to do list for quite some time. It’s one of the steps I have to help me get back to my center. Just like clearing out my voicemails, going through my emails, closing out my second business. You know, the normal stuff. So what the hell took me off my center that caused this business mental break? Let’s see, I was mentally exhausted but still steaming full head in 2017, I set my goals at the beginning of the year. And that’s when it happened: my quarter life crisis.
Do those things even exist? Well it certainly felt like it! For everyone looking in my life feels pretty amazing. I have a great relationship with my husband, I take a million pictures with my dog, we just met two of our major life goals: paying off our debt & buying our first home. We travel. We both have stable jobs we really like and my small business helps give me creative freedom. Somehow the thoughts of “what am I doing with my life?” “what is my purpose?” “is this enough?” all swirled in my head.
So what happened? Coming into 2017, I was exhausted. I expected the small winter break after the New Year would give me the refresher I needed for the year. I limited extra work and focused on the clients I already had. Then, I gave myself space to think, which really meant I sat around a lot. I had a WoW phase, a comic book phase, an art phase, a read a new book in 3 days phase, I had spa days and mental health days from work. I explored everything and nothing all at once! The thought of taking a break from my photography to allow a little more quietness and creativity back into my life crossed my mind. Then as quickly as that thought came in, I decided to take on another small business for “fun.” While it was fun, it also was an actual business with real clients & actions I needed to take on an almost daily basis. All of a sudden, this introvert found herself in even more of a whirlwind. One demadning full time job, two small businesses and strong belief in keeping my personal/marriage life as a priority, I exhausted any breathing room I had. I tanked even more.
The process is a slow and hard one but I can at least say I’ve officially started it. The goal now is simply to get back into the flow of things. To make my self accountable to my amazing clients but to allow myself some flexibility.
So here we go. I’ll see you soon!